"An icy blade through my stomach wouldn't have felt worse. I was speechless for a minute. The silence that hung between us seemed to have physical wei...ht. Finally, I said, "I don't think I can be part of anything like... that." I know." But I know you need to explore your feelings. I think I understand what you said about them festering if we ignored them." So... what do we do?"I spoke without thinking, "I don't want to see it, hear about it, know about it, anything — at least not until I hear. Even though it was erect, it still wasn’t anything like I had seen in my dad’s porn magazines with other men’s penis’s were long and big. Mine was short, maybe four inches long, and about the width of a cheap hot dog from the local gas station. It was even smaller than the other boys penis’s that were limp that I watched while taking showers after gym. And once again, I noticed that I had slime on the tip of my penis as I lie there thinking. It didn’t hurt, and actually, it felt kind of good in. Unfortunately, Nancy is not around. However, there are two very fit young women who can take her place."I had been listening to this with amazement. Deep down inside I had always been a spanker and not a spankee. However, I was aware that the times I had been spanked by partners besides Nancy I had enjoyed it. Nancy’s was different. It was more of a punishment spanking and it stung a lot. Also, after Nancy's lecture, I had felt very guilty about what I had done. Actually, I had hated receiving. I would work my ass off putting in 55 to 60 hours a week just to have my only day off spent following her around department stores, buying things for her. When I would see something I liked she would always say "Oh Jon, you don't really need that." I would put down what ever I was looking at and just follow her while she tried on outfit after outfit. I was miserable in life and in my marriage. I couldn't remember the last time my wife had sex with me. It was something we would often fight.
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