I did a lot of thinking about my life. I had been fired. I have never been fired before. Actually I could have kept my job but what's done is done. Al... the whores, all the parties, that's what I became and got consumed by. I thought about Dad. His dying words; 'Don't let pride destroy you!' I miss you Dad! I wish you were here now. I need you. Had I spent more time with him, maybe I wouldn't feel like this.As I rumbled down I-65 through Tennessee I thought hard about my 'pride'. Where has it. Secondly, my staff morale wasn't what it should've been.True, they were still far more productive than the company wide average butstill, this bothered me in that I had and continued to have high expectationsfor all of them. I suspect that the exit of two members of the sales forcefor our office who were nicknamed 'doubleD' and 'doubleE' was a major downsidefor morale, or at least for the guys. DoubleD ended up leaving for a betterjob but DoubleE didn't deal with her friend's departure very. He was torn, I could tell. He rolled away from me and lay there on his back staring at the ceiling."I'm not that drunk Coop." He said.My heart seemed to stop dead in my chest. My throat became dry. I nodded my head and looked down at my feet."I've fooled around with other marines a few times but never...that.... He trailed off.I felt an instant rush of relief. Hope even."This is different though Coop. This ain't just relieving pressure. If we do this, I might not be able to just forget it. We walk to the store; we get in cars and drive at 70 miles per hour; we fly in planes; we eat food we didn't grow ourselves. Society keeps things safe. We follow rules: stay in your lane, on your side of the road. Restaurants get rated by the government. Pilots are trained to do their jobs. Society's mores keep us safe.I could crush his throat right now. All I had to do was squeeze a little bit more. I'd been practicing. I had one of those little grippy toys on my desk at work, and one of the.
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