I needed to make sure she didn't tell anyone about what happened and make sure she doesn't in the future. Her body was stiff while we walked and I kep... asking her questions about school and talking about the weather until we ordered our drink and found a quiet booth in the back."How are you feeling?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulder still looking down at the table. "Heather, don't be like this, I missed you and want to talk to you. Please talk to me, okay?" She kept wringing her hands and sat. We went to Lake Tahoe for a long weekend. That weekend would become the first time I fucked another guy for him. We agreed I could pick out any one I wanted while we were there. It was important that the guy be attractive to me, and for that to happen I would need to be able to pick him out. My husband, however, insisted on what I had to wear, and also that he could veto a guy if he didn’t like the guy. As it turned out the first guy I pointed out, was ok with my hubby. It happened the first. The waist looked small and was covered with a wide belt that matched the dress; it made my waist stand out from the hips. My hips looked wide and full. A flowing light dress loosely covered my thighs. I could see their outline clearly though. They looked hard and shapely. My knees were covered by flesh colored hose that continued downward and disappeared into a pair of rose-colored shoes with short tapered heels. The heels came to a point the size of a dime.My sobs had stopped, when? Tears no. I was just baggage he brought along. I was miserable. Some of the mourners would try to strike up a conversation with me, ask me how I met Isaac, what I was studying, what I thought of some news story or other. It was as natural as a Potemkin Village, the failed attempt just emphasizing how unnatural it was to have me here, grafted into this scene. So there I was feeling sorry for myself, knowing the whole time how petty and self centered it was to feel sorry for myself. Everyone around me had.
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