”She released her lock around my neck and dragged me into the kitchen, there were Marie and Sam sat at the table and a few of my friends and family ...cattered around the room, I went to the fridge to get a beer, still wondering why mom had told my sister when I noticed Sarah had gone over and joined them, as she sat down they all looked over at me and giggled.‘Oh great, this is the perfect way to start a birthday party, what the hell were you thinking mom’ I thought to myself as I opened my beer. She would also have learned how badly I was lacking in the size department. That's when the digs and insults began. Clearly she was angry about it. She felt cheated and I couldn't blame her. So she worked on me, belittling me incessantly, laughing at my pencil and my pathetic performances. And now I had hit rock bottom. I was nothing. I was that little puddle of cum on the bed. But at least I had the satisfaction of knowing that she had not broken me. Victor had. Victor and his purple. ’ ‘Please get rid of them. We just got this house clean. We don’t need all these extras messing it up again.’ ‘Holly, I can’t throw them out. I don’t know any of them.’ Frustration. Exasperation. The uncontrollable need to yell at the brother who brings fifteen strangers home. The need to storm out or strangle the next person who gives me bad news. All these emotions are swelling within me as I glare at Jay. ‘So make Louisa throw them out.’ ‘What makes you think Louisa is still here?’ ‘What do. "Do what I do." She sat down crossed her legs hands on her knees. I did the same copying her."Close your eyes Edmund let your mind go blank forget all that's you hold as real to you." Lilith tried guiding me. I closed my eyes tied to forget but I did not understand her, what do I hold real to me.Lilith continued "Let all your worries troubles and fears go don't be bound by them."I concentrated on my breathing letting go of fears troubles and worries I must say it felt cathartic thing to do..
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