He is hysterical as he explains his situation to the dispatcher:‘They’ve stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accel...rator!’ he cried ... The dispatcher said,‘Stay calm ... An officer is on the way.’ A few minutes later, the officer radios in ‘Disregard.’ He says.‘He got in the back-seat by mistake.’TELL ME THIS WON’T HAPPEN TO US!!Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses.. – Ivy woke up the following morning, opened her door and looked around. She was parked on a grand country estate up behind some outbuildings under a tree in a small copse. Green, everything was green. The trees were coated in moss, the ground covered in ferns, above her was a rich canopy of leaves. It was still and calm and quiet, and Ivy smiled as she took it all in. She could see Ruth and Alex’s bus through a glade of spindly oak trees. The door opened and Ruth emerged and walked over. . “What’d I tell you, rich bitch? Wet, and fucking tight too. Such a fucking slut you are.” While she had a great sex life with her husband, she had to admit it had been a week or so; it was a mutual agreement that her and Brian wouldn’t fuck the week of her period. He relentlessly took his cock nearly entirely out, and shoved it all into her again; this time, though, she kept herself from letting the cry escape her mouth. He slapped her ass and squeezed her neck from behind for leverage before. Stepping up onto one of the benches, she looked for her pen pal, or a very large vehicle, but saw neither. Reaching into her carryall, she opened a baggie and pulled out a stalk of celery coated with cream cheese, she started nibbling it as she watched the time count down on her watch.As she finished the last bite, she heard a roar. She looked around and then noticed everyone looking up, and she did the same. The blood ran from her face as she watched the strange craft set down on the football.
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