That being the case, I sat my ass at a booth near the coffee bar. I had probably the best biscuit made by anyone, anywhere. Helen's breads were except...onally good, but they were no match for the Hardee biscuits. Their bacon egg and cheese biscuit was a thing of beauty. The coffee was adequate, so over all the meal was almost excellent.I had finished the biscuit only moments before she stopped by the table. I didn't recognize her at first. I just knew a middle-aged woman in nurse's scrubs. She froze wondering what to do. All her cultural messages were to remain dressed while in the presence of others, but she was with her fiancé, and also the two of us, and we were great friends and non-threatening. Gradually, Jess started to undress. I confess to watching out of the corner of my eye as the last of my clothes got tossed into a chair with Mindy’s.My God, Jess had a beautiful body. Of course, Mindy did, too, but those breasts of Jessica’s! They captured my attention. I tried to. I was definitely following in my mother’s footsteps, as I gave birth this time to a dark, African mixed c***d. I had only been with Bennie, Mikey and mostly Asian men for the last two years, so when I gave birth to a darker skinned c***d, I assumed that it belonged to one of the Nigerian men, whom I had slept with 9 months before. I tried to contact the former embassy workers, but no info was given to me from their government, so I was now raising another illegitimate c***d. A cute little baby. You’re white. It’s okay that you’re white, and it’s okay that I’m black. But these things matter. The race of the man matters, because it was part of the experience of what happened to you, just as his scent matters, his accent matters, his breath matters, his weight matters . . . all of it matters, Laurie, including his face. We can’t help any of this. It’s who we are. And believe me when I tell you: If the race of the man who raped you is part of what made the experience so frightening, you.
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