In fact, on Saturday night, three nights after Betsy's visit, mom asked for a backrub for the first time. At the time I wondered why she seemed so ups...t when we took longer than expected to get home. Now, of course, I understand. She had been jealous. She was right to be, because Betsy had everything I had ever dreamed a woman could have. I was physically attracted to her in a big way, but what happened that Saturday night in mom's bedroom made me forget my budding feelings for Betsy and every. "NOOOOOOOO! Oh GOOOOODDDDDDDD NOOOOOOO! She slammed herself against the bars of the cage but could not get out. "Billy.... " She got the mace again but it didn't matter. She continued to scream, "BILLLLLYYYYYY! HELP ME... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! OH GOD, GARRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY! PLEAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEEEE LET ME OUT... I HAVE GOT TO GO TO HIM!" The desperation of loosing him was so great that as she filled with it, it felt to her as if her small frail body could not contain it all and she would burst open. I could have made them go with it, but there were a lot of women so I could spread the loads.Trying to be fair was the hard part! It required a lot of thought, which had never been my strength. I had to be careful about playing favorites except where appropriate. The hookers understood that Abby, Lisa, and Adriana were special to me. Hannah and Crystal accepted they weren't at the top of the pile, but they wanted to be treated like it. They didn't need to be my absolute favorites as long as I. Neither of us spoke a word during the trip.As I said, I usually just sat in the car and waited but today Sandy told me, just before she got out of the car, “Come with me, Doug.”On the two or three previous times when I actually went with Sandy to meet Sam, she would walk ahead and I would trail a few steps behind. Today, though, she grabbed my hand and we walked together.It didn’t take long, perhaps 10 minutes, to walk across the rolling grass.The headstone, provided by the Veterans’.
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