She took one look at me and ordered, "Jenny, stand up. Turn around andlet me look at you."Why did everyone want me to do ballet routines in high heels...I wondered,as a tried my best to keep my balance."I hate you," Beth said angrily.I was startled."Beth, I'm sorry. I, I, I thought it was okay for me to borrow yourclothes. I, I, I didn't mean to make you mad. I will take your dress offimmediately."I turned around and stumbled towards the stairs."Stop, Jenny," Beth called after me. "Come back. I just didn’t know. I’d found the unconditional love I was looking for. I’d found an ability to be able to return it. My mind blanked out every other aspect, every other possible problem, every other realistic event. I lived totally in the moment. And then it ended. Like the click of a locked door on a jail cell. To say I was devastated sounds so trite. I couldn’t stomach food for three weeks. I couldn’t stand to be in the kitchen cooking dinner for my family. My stomach kept heaving. I picked. Main waha pahunch gya to aunty khush ho gyi…Kuch der hamari normal baatien huyi..Aunty ne apna naam Neha bataya…Jab aunty baat kr rhi thi to mera dhyan aunty k boobs aur gaand pr hi tha jise aunty ne notice kr liya.Aunty ne kaha “aaj mausam bahut kharaab ho gya hai to maine kaha k ye to romantic mausam hai aapko to apne hubby k saath hona chahiye” ye sunkar aunty ka mood thoda kharaab ho gya to unhone kaha k unhe is mausam se kya fark padta hai wo to bas paise k piche lge huye hai to main samjh. It slowly dawned on me that I must have been masturbating right up until the last moment of awareness, and nodded off, lulled by the post-orgasmic bliss.I moved my hand, my fingertips brushed the smoothly, ever-so-slightly clammy flesh of my sex, and I was off again. My feet parted, and my fingers began their rubbing motions.Then I looked to my left, where I had hung a full-length mirror against the wall. It was placed very carefully so that, from my bed, I could look through the mirror, over.
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